confused calm

2024

series of acrylic on cold press

In Various Private Collections

The Confused Calm series is an intentional escape from the constraints of perfectionism and the literalism of realism. In these works, I traded the delicate control of watercolor for the visceral, textured weight of acrylics and the decisive edge of the palette knife. The goal was not to replicate a scene, but to externalize a state of mind… moving away from “getting it right” and toward “feeling it out.”

These pieces were born from a playlist of punk and pop-rock, heavily anchored by the high-velocity angst of PUP the Band and the raw, melodic energy of Mom Jeans. There is a unique irony in this music: a chaotic, screaming intensity that somehow provides a profound sense of internal peace. I leaned into that “confused calm” using the lyrics I was shouting along with to guide the velocity of the palette knife and the placement of the paint.

The color story is a clash of cooling blues and urgent reds, reflecting the emotional spectrum of the music. Every stroke is a physical response turning the 140lb cold press into a record of movement and release. This series is a celebration of the messy, the loud, and the beautiful relief that comes when you stop trying to be perfect and start being loud.